In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Randomize