The maid of honor just puked.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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