im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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