This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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