Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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