Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
