Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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