guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Randomize
