the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I want her autograph on my taint
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
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