i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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