I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize