help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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