You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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