Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
