he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
