Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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