don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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