wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I've blown a few things in my day
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
