Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
