He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
