apparently the secret to your success is patron
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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