You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize