So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Why can't burritos get me drunk
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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