So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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