so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Randomize
