Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
