He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
