forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
