How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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