I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
