She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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