Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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