Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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