my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
