OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
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