I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Randomize
