there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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