arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
