How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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