I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
