He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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