FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You made out with two different species that night
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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