you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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