When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
