he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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