She's JV to your varsity
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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