Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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