question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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