So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
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You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
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Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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