she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
