we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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