ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
