She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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