It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
he was CRYING into my vagina
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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