DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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