I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
