I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
