their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
