i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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