I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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