I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
