i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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