So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
