If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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