Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i barfeds in our rink
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
