I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Randomize
