Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
