I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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